How to Stay True to Yourself in a New Place

One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.

Michelle Obama

It’s easy to get wrapped up in a new place, job, or group of friends.

There will always be brief periods of time where we flow into our distractions. It sort of just happens overtime, as you adjust to a new situation in life. If you’re not careful you might lose yourself, and it has even happened to me for a time.

I honestly can say it took me about a years here in WPB to find myself again, but Florida is an animal on it’s own. If you are a highly motivated person who wants a lot out of life, you need to have a strong circle supporting you.

One whole year flashed by in my life that I spent wrapped up in drama and things that don’t really matter. I was partying all the time, in toxic casual relationships that left me an emotional mess, and letting people take advantage of me. You just have to snap out of it and realize you can’t grow until you get your priorities in line and realize your worth.

That is perfectly normal and you will always bounce back. You just have to stay on guard and knowing who you are as a person is the first step.

I moved to West Palm Beach about 2 years ago and I was so nervous to start making friends that I was everyone’s friend. I let my anxiety run wild, and I rushed to start meeting people. I highly recommend not to do that, I spread myself so thin that I was hanging around people who were bad for me.

I do believe certain people come into our lives for a reason but this was an extreme circumstance.

The point being here is that I was at a vulnerable spot in my life and I let the wrong people in.

I have always been a happy and positive person, and I think that can attract the negative a lot of the times. People are naturally drawn to what they don’t have, and you have to be able to protect yourself or you’ll end up drained. When you are positive and happy all the time and surround yourself with people who aren’t, it brings down your vibration.

These people feed will off your energy.

You are a collection of the top 5 people who you hang out with. Strive to make that top 5 a collection of people who add value to your life. My advice to you if you’re starting a new chapter in your life is to evaluate the people who you spend your time with.

Are you learning something from them, or do you find them draining and consuming your time?

If you stay true to yourself, you can learn to block out a lot of the bullshit that gets thrown your way before it starts to bring you down.

Here are some tips I have gathered from my personal experience, on how to stay true to yourself in a new place:

1.) Know Yourself

Easier said then done, but I started with creating a personal brand. Reflecting on the past can be quite introspective and help you with this. You know how companies follow a set of values, have a great mission statement, and a kickass vision to follow through with. Do the same for yourself and define what is important to you. I have a journal I keep on my night stand, where I like to put my thoughts at night when I can’t fall asleep. I often drift to what I want my future to look like. Spend roughly an hour writing down your goals, values, the person you want to be, etc. Your personal brand can be developed from there. This will ultimately be what you are known for.

2.) Set Boundaries

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. I get that saying no is hard but have you every thought of what your missing out on by saying yes. There are better ways then just saying flat out “no” but I’m sure by now you have mastered how to communicate with others. There is a reason that people say it’s lonely at the top, people who can’t respect your “no” are simply not worth your time. Prioritizing what’s important to you should always come first. Your friends are not paying your bills, helping you lose weight, or whatever you’re trying to accomplish. You can skip happy hour every once awhile to focus on yourself without being considered selfish.

3.) Don’t Seek Acceptance From Others

You’re in a new spot and naturally you’ll want to fit in. You don’t have to do that by becoming a copy of everyone you see. You aren’t going to get along with everybody, but not everybody matters. Never change yourself to fit in with others, because you’re not representing who you really are and that builds false relationships. Somethings and people are just going to be off brand for you. You need to be happy with who you are as a person to attract genuine relationships with people. There isn’t anything wrong with changing your style as you’re introduced to new things but as a whole you should stay grounded on the things that represent your personal brand. The only acceptance you need from anyone is from yourself.

3.) Don’t Do Anything You Don’t Enjoy

I’ll say it again for the people in the back DON’T DO ANYTHING YOU DON’T ENJOY. I mean you can if you enjoy wasting your time, but what is the benefit from that. Time is money, and life is full of amazing experiences. Never waste your time doing something that you can’t walk from as a better person. That being said, don’t ditch your circle for something better that comes up. This is done by simply not agreeing to something you really don’t want to do. Offer up an alternative, or simply say you’re busy.

4.) Dedicate an Hour a Day to Yourself

Everyday from 6pm to 7pm I am unreachable. All of my friends and family know that I am in a workout class or taking a long walk on the island. That is my time and I don’t compromise on that time. Fitness is an important part of my mental health, for me it’s more than staying in shape. It keeps me sane, happy, and far away from stress. Now you can pick any time, and any activity but it should be something that releases stress and keeps you off your phone. The purpose of time is to relax, reflect and just blow off some steam. Take this time and your brain will thank you for it, you will notice a huge difference in your mood.

5.) Cut Off Toxic People

This is a hard one for many but I have learned that nothing good comes from weak links. It’s hard to identify these people at first, but you have to be on guard a bit with everyone you meet. I greet everyone with a smile, but I keep everyone outside of my circle at arms length away. Successful people don’t want to be surrounded by constant negativity and drama, with toxic people this never ceases. The time you spend with friends is your free time, you should be able to unwind and have fun. If this free time turns into a whole ordeal with chaos and nonsense constantly then you just added another chore to your agenda. Make sure you build a great circle where you can all support and bring each other up, as friends should.

The story here is that I wasn’t following my own advice, and this advice came from my own personal experience. I was brought down so hard by others that I questioned myself and my purpose.

That’s what happens when you lose yourself.

You become unhappy, you don’t value yourself, and you can’t authentically express yourself. I stopped my goals and ambitions to hang out with people that didn’t have the same values as me.

Not everyone will have your drive and that’s nothing against them, you just have to evaluate what getting close to people who are very different from you means. You won’t be looking for the same things in life, and that naturally will pull you in different directions.

Staying true to yourself most certainly starts with your personal brand, and if you don’t have one you’ll lose yourself. When I started to take my personal brand seriously I became happier. I finally became myself in a place that made me so nervous and anxious. This is your life and you can’t let anyone mess with your aura.

With that I leave you with this article: 10 Tips for Building a Personal Brand & Boost Your Career.

When I first started this personal project on myself, this was a great outline I used to start developing my personal brand. Once you have all of this written out, you’ll have a better understanding of who you are. You have to stick to those values you set for yourself to prevent yourself from failing. Always remember, every decision you make ultimately circles back you. Ultimately you have to be strong enough to pick up the pieces at the end. I genuinely hope you don’t make the same mistakes that I went through.

Good luck on your big moves in life, I’m wishing you all the best Ciao! xo